Let’s start by defining what I mean by grudges. It’s when we harbor ill will toward others, for any number of reasons. It manifests in desiring that the object of your grudge experiences some level of suffering.
What’s the difference between a regular grudge and a mini grudge? We’d hold a regular grudge against a guy who weaseled and schemed his way around us to get the work promotion. Or a woman friend of yours who openly hit on your boyfriend. That’s bigger, more understandable stuff.
Mini grudges are often held against those that we don’t even know. Some people can’t stand the Kardashians. Some people love Michael Jackson. Others think he’s a monster. You get the drift.
That brings me to the mini grudge I’ve noticed rearing up inside me the past few days, which is the inspiration for this article. It’s about the state of professional golf.
My LIV golf mini grudge
Bear with me for a minute as I briefly explain the background. The PGA (Professional Golfers Association) has run men’s pro golf for roughly sixty years. Last year Australian golfer Greg Norman started a breakaway tour called LIV.
How did he convince a few big-name golfers, Phil Mickelson, Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka, and Cameron Smith, to join his tour? He paid them ungodly amounts of money.
Saudi blood money
Who supplied that money? The government of Saudi Arabia is trying to spend its way to a better reputation.
The players, at the direction of Norman, said they joined LIV because they’d have to play less and could therefore spend more time with their families and also so they could “grow the game of golf.” Which is all BS. They went to LIV because they got paid a s*#t ton of money.
I could go on, but suffice it to say that I find the LIV players to be greedy and lacking in integrity.
And therein lies my mini grudge. The Master’s tournament, the biggest event of the year, is currently in its second of four days.
Rooting against the LIV 17
Seventeen LIV players qualified for it and I’ve found myself vehemently rooting against all but one of them. Harold Varner grew up poor and was refreshingly honest when he said that the only reason he and all the others joined was for the massive payday. He wants to set his family up for generations to come.
But the guy currently in the lead by four shots, Brooks Koepka, is a LIV player and it’s been bothering me.
This leads to the point of this piece: We shouldn’t let these mini-grudges get to us. Why? Mainly because it’s simply bad for us. It comes 100 percent from our egos. It’s always about, “I’m right and they’re wrong/bad/greedy, etc.”
We allow mini grudges out of habit
Why haven’t I done anything about this, and other mini-grudges I have? Habit. It’s just the way it’s been for many years and I’ve never given it a second thought. But it finally hit me as I was scanning the Master’s leaderboard looking at how those seventeen LIV players were doing, “What are you doing?”
It’s bad karma to be wishing them, or anyone, ill will. It’s just feeding my voracious ego, which, of course, salivates over this kind of thing.
What should I do about this? Do I say to myself, “Sergio Garcia (a LIV player) is a great guy. Give him a break.”? No. That would be lying.
But how about this? “Sergio Garcia has his problems. We all do. He’s on his journey. I’m on mine. He’s at a certain level of consciousness that has nothing to do with me. Let him be. It does you no good to carry around bad feelings about him.”
I hope you’ll give this some thought. What it all comes down to is one word: Awareness. As I’ve written several times, my favorite Eckhart Tolle quote is:
“Awareness is the greatest agent for change.”
See if you can become aware of these mini-grudges. You’re at the supermarket and look at the cover of People Magazine… “Johnny Depp. What a loser.”
We all have these to varying degrees. And they’re not good for us.
Step one is simply becoming aware when we’re spewing out venom, usually on someone we don’t even know. If you become aware when this happens, ask yourself: Is this good for me?
If the answer is no (it always is), then take a few deep breaths and let that energy go.
You’ll be doing yourself, and the world, a favor.